Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Message Cat (Kind of Disgusting, You Have Been Warned)

Two nights ago, George was walking around my apartment, depositing small turds. At one point, I picked him up as he was hunching his back and put him in the litter box and held him there for a minute. When I let him go, he hissed at me, walked under the dining room table, and dropped a turd.

Then he walked into my bedroom and fired off a truly amazing power puke, it was: "Ack...Ack...SPLAT!" I haven't seen anything like it since I was in college (and that was back when it was legal to drink at 18).

He hasn't dropped a turd outside of the litter box since.

George drops random turds when something is bothering or upsetting him or he is pissed off about something. Of course, understanding why he is upset can make Kremlinology look easy.

3 comments:

Nangleator said...

Perhaps it's a form of Morse Code. Have you measured lengths and positions?

I'm laughing with you, not at you.

I've been blessed to have only a few Turds of Disapproval, and very few hairballs.

BadTux said...

Mencken regularly does the Hork of Disapproval, typically in locations where he feels I will shortly place my feet (and once into my hat -- now *that* was an experience!), but neither he nor TMF do the Turds of Disapproval. For that I count my blessings.

I have never quite figured out what Mencken's problem is. He seems to whine, moan, groan and complain even when there is no conceivable reason to do so, just on general principals about the world sucking and all that. The only good thing is that when something shitty *does* happen, like getting slapped into a cage to go get shots at the vet, he is pretty much, like, "this sucks, yeah, so what else is new, life sucks" and behaves pretty much normal. TMF, on the other hand, views it as a personal betrayal and howls at the top of his lungs about how mean we're being to him...

- Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin

Bluezy said...

My roommate's cat does the pukey thing in front of the door at least twice a month. She tries to blame the dog. My dog. Mostly so I will pick it up.