Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Step Right This Way For Your Full-Body X-Ray

Step right this way for your free TSA X-ray:
Airlines are being warned by the government that terrorists are considering surgically hiding bombs inside humans to evade airport security. As a result, travelers may find themselves subjected to more scrutiny when flying in the heart of summer vacation season, especially to the U.S. from abroad.
I suspect that the real risk will be from ass-carried explosives, not surgically-implanted ones. The kind of surgery necessary to plant a bomb is probably not a walk in the park, but they probably can do the surgery in a Pakistani hospital.

9 comments:

Peter said...

Next thing you know, the TSA will be stockpiling Ex-Lax at security checkpoints to administer (forcibly if necessary) to little old ladies in wheelchairs, to see if they have a bomb up their backsides.

(They'll probably cut holes in the wheelchairs to allow the . . . er . . . detritus to fall out!)

WV: Actio - speaks louder than words, I guess. :-)

Anonymous said...

What I can't wait for on this note is the body scans that show ALL. And TSA freaking out about (1) implanted medical appliances or (2) actual body issues like tumors of one sort or another.

Because, they surely can tell the difference between a bomb and a pacemaker, right?

Comrade Misfit said...

Labrys, I wouldn't bet on it.

BadTux said...

You mean there are Pakistani doctors who aren't here in California working for Chiseler Permanente, our HMO of non-choice? (Because they're mandated by our employer, yo). Gosh, given how many Pakistani doctors Chiseler Permanente employs (most of whom speak some bastard hybrid of English that's completely incomprehensible to Americans), that's an amazing thing to discover!

Peter: Enemas. Just sayin'. Much faster acting than Ex-Lax. Before boarding plans, we're all gonna have to drop trow and get our big intestinal cleansing. It'll make airline travel *so* secure -- I mean, if nobody's traveling, then it's secure, right? :)

Labrys: Tumors don't show up on x-rays, generally. Not unless you've done that dye thing with the radioactive dye. Anyhow, there's already been cases of the TSA freaking out over large scars or implanted metal. One veteran I've encountered has steel bones in his lower leg and has such trouble flying he basically won't unless absolutely necessary. And that's *before* this recent scare.

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

wolfbitch said...

As somebody else said - maybe on this blog, maybe I read it somewhere else, I don't remember - what we really need are fully enclosed scanners that will detonate any bombs people are carrying.

Comrade Misfit said...

BadTux, we'll all just be reuire dto show up at the airport six hours early and drink two liters of bowel-cleansing antifreeze.

Which is really nasty shit.

Phil said...

You have got to be kidding me!
I am SO waiting for you to go off on that fucker Inhofe and his little episode of landing on a closed runway full of construction workers.

Please?

See my latest post.
I know damn good and well you can do better than I did my dear.

Stewart Dean said...

There is much more difficult and important surgeries....implanting hearts, brains and/or consciences in the likes of Rumsfeld, Bush, Rove, Cheney.

Cirze said...

Bombs in terrorists?

Only in CIA plants I would guess, and like the son of the known CIA-Yemeni official who was "caught" with a bomb in his pants after being escorted by "special handlers" onto the plane, it's just more "fear making" at work.

And it keeps working as people keep "worrying" about the new "scares."

If the fearful don't come to their senses soon, there will be no reason to worry about anything except where to find something to eat and drink - let alone a place to live.

Thanks for your fine reporting!